In Crucible

Everything is perpetual night
No stars to cast a light of hope
Not even a silent whisper
Amidst this empty Ocean,

These dark robe we wrapped
Forever upon ourselves, Dark Cloak
Of eternal night that hide these
Glimmering gold shackles

Someday we pray undone,
This veil robe of shadow there
That these bonds by our own hands
Be hidden from preying eyes,

Why? To Search for Erudition in reality,
To Quest for strength of Character
Unbreakable, this Dark Fire
Ourselves we lit---

This Dark Flame surrounds us
A flame that gives no light,
No hope but awakens the mind,
The soul, the heart to despair and pain,

Raging fire burns this form, consumes
Everything that is good and decent,
Creates an unbearable weight,
Every breath, a heavy burden to carry,

Dry tears form--- pointless, meaningless
Empty void amidst this conflagration,
We pan our eyes and across the bow,
On the horizon covered by bountiful

Mountains filled with serenity
Plains rich with rice-honey and on its side,
An island where happiness reigns--
There Her dazzling light stands

And we remember the curl of Her lips
In annoyance she makes, Her sweet
Perfume and the sparkle of Her eyes
Perpetually etched in memory,

Remember that day we made
Her cry? Over petty matters
An Epoch before we knew this Heart
Beats for Her---

In Her heart we find Beauty,
In Her mind, working guiding
Her hands heals that is---
What she chooses to do,

We lower our head,
We close our eyes,
Let this Holocaust rage
Let this Fire reign to dampen

What this Heart yearns
What this Heart can not deny
This Fire can not consume it
We are left to lock it

Not a whisper to Her,
Not a sound, incommunicado
It stabs here, in this heart,
The mind says, let Her

Find peace, Let Her find
Happiness She seeks,
Let Her be safe---
We can not give these

Not with these hands bound
Not with these ankles shackled
Not when this Fire consumes,
Bitterly we know, not when we're ready,

Did we give Her a choice in the matter?
Not a question was uttered! Let Friendship
Stand as it is--- it could have been something
More we know, if left unbound and free,

Would we have locked these bonds ourselves?
With Her love here? Where She be Herself?
Would we risk Her? Not a question uttered
It could have been different, or everything lost

Even before it started. It had to be done,
All in the past now, programming
Took over, Loner's instinct reigned
Duty, Honour and Obligation champion

We lower our head,We close our eyes,
Let this Holocaust rage, let this Fire
Reign to dampen this pain wrapped
In a blanket of darkness, never forgotten,

Fire forge like Katana,
Amidst this hell, armor is made
Amidst this trial, erudition sharpens
Its edge bidding its time to be free,

We pan our eyes across starboard---
Light we found there
In our madness we thought
Perhaps She could take over

In our madness, She did awaken
Us and in rebellion we sought
To be Free of these bounds
In realization--- one she opened,

We know this Pyre has been
Burning long enough
Her friendship we thought
Could replace what we denied,

It can not be disavowed,
But as we pan our eyes her way,
Monstrous walls block we suspect
Beauty that hides within, safe,

Could we campaign for her hand?
Certainly, prepared to risk a friendship
Prepared to challenge this---
But would she be willing?

Like before, it is not her choice,
We do not utter a question, Friendship
Stand as it is, perhaps something more,
But it could also be lost to the wind,

We endevour to forget her voice
That echoes in our mind's eye,
Beauty that enchanted us,
Let Friendship stand unchanged

Amidst this scorching, searing fire,
After three times, this world
Traveled around Sol's system,
These bonds we endeavour break!

Let loose these shackles that bind,
On each Flank restless Dogs of War
In jubilation celebrate! Loyal Fox
Leads them, they snarl, growl,

Dogs of War ready to raise hell
At our behest, Noble Allies---
Old Fellowships, Lifelong Friendships
Waiting hour of battle to our side calls!

Our Eyes are wide open,
Our Ears receive everything
Every fiber in this being
Tingling in anticipation,

This Spirit is heavy,
Horrors maybe done
That shames that Flag flying
At top, and stains our Sword

It can not be undone,
We must trust this heart
To guide this mind,
This Spirit be strong on the tiller

When these bonds are loose
When this Spirit roams Free
The wind gathers around us
Dogs of War know--- moment's ripe

For a Coriolis Storm to rage
And the Mast of this Ship will call
A gale force wind and our sails
Be raised--- “onto the beachhead”!

But this Fire still consumes us
Unabated, was it a mistake?
To light it? These bonds won't break!
These shackles still hold tight

As the right Hand of God
Adds more fuel that drives
This Flame in even more fury
Tenacious, unrelenting in its hold,

Those lands are ours by right of birth
Those lands are ours to till,
Make plenty, to grow for those
Who in association with us demand so,

More importantly for the Heirs
Of this Flag that they may want
For none, That they may like a tree
In a well tendered garden grow mightily,

For this soul to find peace,
To search for Her and should She be
Free from obligation, should we
Lead a campaign for Her,

We can converse and perhaps this time
Find both Hearts beating on the same
Rhythm--- if in Her important opinion
Wishes to cast Her lot with this Fool,

If She does not? Unfathomably huge
This Undiscovered Country---
We may find another Beauty to share
A world and maybe find peace ourselves,

Our Lord God we pray, these bonds
Must break! These shackles destroyed
That our hands be free to guide
This ship's tiller, these lungs

Unrestrained in summoning
the Wind to this Coriolis
Storm! "TO ARMS! DOGS of WAR!!!
FORWARD! Let us retake

This war-torn world, that we may
Replant our Flag, Raise it, let it fly
Free that Peace, House and Empire
Restored, these Lands are Ours again!"

Autistic

How can a world be construed?
A world, hidden from preying eyes
A place of wonder and enchantment
Where a child survived

'Twas never an epoch of dazzling
Bright lights nor myriad colored candy
'Twas an age where dark clouds
Wondered and Rain poured freely

Herald timeless Legend of Heroes
Of Villains, of Sacrifice, of Duty,
Of Obligation but more importantly
Stories that told of Honor,

Some tales were on beachheads
That served Armada's home on Campaigns
Championed by mimicked Stars and Stripes
Against Cobra in the Air, Land and Sea,

There were tales of a noble redhead King,
That carried mystic Sword of Omens
Battling perverted monstrosities of Plundarr---
Foot soldiers to Ancient Evil bandage wrapped

But what about stories of machines
More than meets the eye? Noble metallic
Creatures--- chameleons all that eons
Now wage war 'till the day, All are One?

Blinding blaze of photons reveal
Graceful starships that travel the cosmos
In exploration, in discovery planting seeds---
A Federate comradeship evolved,

Yet another timeless world---
One governed by a Force in everything
Waging a Galactic Civil War orchestrated
By Light and Dark in search of balance

Have you ever heard the ringing of false
Guns that raze starships? Or Winged
Fliers that scorch and the Thunder rings,
Echos across all Imaginings

A page turned, Across the stars, Green 'n Black
Banner of Agamemnon's heir rule Million Worlds
In Spice-addiction, in Prescience, power tiller
Of human destiny on a Golden Path armed by Quizarate

In all this nothing surpassed Capes and Cowls
Of ships blasting off a dying world, Of Emerald
Champions, Scarlet Speeders and Amazon Princess
Colorful bright as Sol on a clear sky

Nothing 'cept obsession with winged creature
Fancies theatrics and deception--- Fears
Of a superstitious and cowardly lot
Cloaked, a Dark Knight of Light

All but mere snapshots of what exists
On this perverted Mind bent on living
Life surrounded, protected in this
Enclave of imaginings safe, without strife

All difficult to construe for the uninitiated
Madness to them, insanity on Grand Scale
All not a reflection of a twisted soul
Rather a glimpse of its goings

That served as warm cocoon in times
That rain poured and a dark blanket
Covered our world and enveloped all
That makes this unique Pillar of Foundation

It may at times have allowed
Less interaction with grounded reality---
'Twas precisely the intent,
Safe haven from all the strife

Allow this impetus rage holding the seams
Together and this different Madness
Completes a shattered picture, endeavours
To build a Monstrosity grounded in reality.

Crucible Fire

Life is ever changing,
Always evolving, stagnation
Leads to Lady Death's awaiting arms,

Life is never easy
Forging Crucible Fire rage,
The Blade being tested

Time has permitted
To construe many things:
Truths and Lies,

Chief how empires are built,
How empires fall, The betrayal
Of Trust and Of Forging Alliances

The many means to an End
Regardless of the price,
Mindful of its consequences

Life will always be Crucible Fire
It will always be like flying
Head first towards a Coriolis Storm

Forging fires made us strong
Isn't that the test? Any other way
Wouldn't be worth it, Life is a Crucible Fire.

Timeless Way

Love can not be construed
Without heedful of the consequences
Never without reason and control
Else it is nothing more than wild abandon
Nothing more than feeling: empty, void, useless
It is not Love, not in its purest meaning
It is not Love, not the kind worth fighting for,
Never construe to be True, Doubt it.
Truth in Love has a touch of Agape
Her well-being, her everything placed first---
Truth in Love has a hint of burning fire
That does not consume instead grows,
Truth in Love--- Is a Reflection
She must reflect Love back freely
In her own, simple, Timeless way
What else is worth fighting for?

it takes two

The battle field is cold,
The fires of war blaze all around,
This is isn't new,

Surveying the field taking to heart
the truths masters have instilled
Ready to take on battles on my own,

In this deathly stillness
Time stands still,
In a heart beat visions reveal

The future in all its bitter-sweetness
of challenges that over comes
of campaigns we've over came,

As time's veil reveal--- on a throne
of a small empire reigns supreme
In the wounds of triumph

The world is won
These troubles are easy,
These challenges can be defeated,

In this tranquil moment,
This heart is troubled,
Can she stand against all this?

When all said is done,
Will she be up to the challenges
This command will burden her with?

The void... so empty,
Yet in facing this war,
It can be waged without her

Yet does it all matter?
For what is all this war being waged?
Out of duty? Out of Obligation?

Empires maybe won and lost,
Those that never change
Are important, so is she the one?

She will help decide for this Madness
Requires two to work, but who knows?
Madness must start somewhere,

What's Next?

Life teaches us lessons
In the least moment we expect,
Often the myriad noises of daily life
The rush to here and there
Make us forget that not all truths
Can be found in the void noise of silence,
All truths are found in peace.
In introspection, we find clarity
In peace, construe its many meanings
To correct past mistakes,
To reboot our life's pace and direction,
To engrave in stone whats good in us,
To derive solutions to questions,
To answer, what's next for us?

Abandon Joy

Love blinds us to her follies
        makes us see her in impossible light
        and everything is good.

Love is a poison that corrupts our perceptions
        and rids us of all reason save every
        waking and sleeping moment
        Her lovely face is etched in undying memory.

Love is nothing more than madness!
        dives us to feats of insanity and stupidity

Composing nonrhythmic garbage like this

Opposed to the eternal fantasy of horrid
        battle fields, of fellows falling
        in unbearable explosions and trenches,
        of the pungent perfume of death, of misery,
        of despair, of pain lingering, sticking the air.

Love makes us do stupid things,
        makes us forget steel birds of prey
        falling from the sky,
        of thundering clap of fire razing
        from armored floating fortresses in the sea,
        of duty, of obligation, of responsibility save
        that which makes her Sol in our system.

This is penned to curse her memory
        to rid her sparkling eyes,
        her sweet smelling perfume
        her voice that echoes constantly
        from our history.

It is a weak faint that shames lessons learned,
        a faint that fools no one, even this heart.

Is there no reason left?
Is there no sanity left?

That this Fool, blinded by Beauty
        would stand down---
        leave in open weakness that all which
        we labored for in past days and nights,

Love will lead a requiem for fallen heroes
        in capes and cowls, now perhaps inevitably
        bound in our memory towards eternal sleep
        less she be generous and understanding
        that All this made us this sanity.

We will abandon our quest for the chair,
        the one that stares towards the vastness
        of stars filled with banks of data
        and the spirit of discovery,
        wrapped in the armor of future legions
        of storm troopers and of Quizarate---
        Imaginings that make sense,
        exchange it All for a more permanent one.

We will we abandon the dark damp cave
        that for many years, cloaked us
        in perpetual light, a staging ground
        in a war not of our own, but mere imaginings!
        Instead wage a campaign in the light darkness
        of civilization.

Will she mean for us to bid farewell
        to these old friends that saved us from despair,
        that sent aid to fill days and nights
        in mad adrenaline rush?

Will Love be the perversion that demands,
        “Abandon youthful Joy?!”
        exchange them for the bondage of reality
        of grounded responsibility,
        of perpetual insanity?

Will this command die sacrificed?
        A ghanima that she may hoist
        her banner upon like a triumphant queen?

Love is evil-incarnate yet, in her we find
        that which blinds us shining ever so bright

Our Flag flies gladly placed in her service,
        A Flag flown always proud,
        evolved from a mindless monstrosity
        born of reckless youth, of wild hopes
        and of easily abandoned imagination

A Coriolis Storm, corrupted, perverted,
        twisted towards a more tangible,
        more noble aspiration and grounded reality.

Consciously or not, every man dreams to over shadow the generation that sired him and endeavors to raise the bar higher. Is it any doubt that every son would challenge his father? Is it any doubt that every father finds himself incomprehensible by his son? Perhaps not all fathers and not all sons and certainly perhaps not every mother and not every daughter. In either case, it can not be helped, it is the way.

At a quarter of a century old, with all the heartaches, headaches, amid laughter and tears, is it now time to take my place where my father and his father before him stood? Is it now time to claim my heritage, and take back what's mine to rebuild this house, to bring it to the next level and set the pace by which the generation to come must march to and raise the bar.

In all this, fear rages through me. Afraid to make a mistake, unsure, uncertain and frightened by things that must be done. There is only one answer--- because ready or not it is time and future generations will be the judge whether or not this is or isn't all only crap.

Life is a journey, as the old cliché goes and when we have seen the final chapter of humanity, the epitaph of our race will read something like this: “they journeyed from one end to another, searching for themselves and finally stood, awed at the beauty they have seen in themselves”.

When we look at our world, we see terror, poverty, misery, pain. We have in the last hundred years only improved our capacity to kill and destroy. However, when you look at the flip side, the last hundred years has also seen the rise of a society driven constantly by technological marvels that three--- four generations ago would find quite magical.

We have disease that we can not kill, but have we stopped to think of the lives saved because of the technological and scientific marvels of the last century? Many remain alive and filled with even greater hope that their battle is not yet over because of those very same accomplishments. Today, we can now prolong life and its quality--- in all forms of measure is greater than the quality of life of our immediate ancestors. And in the years to come, we may even improve much more on that. We should be thankful for that.

Certainly, our power to destroy and to strike fear has been immensely magnified by the same tools that power life saving measures, the very same technology that allows travel from one continent to another in a matter of hours and by technology that allows us to talk without wires to another human being in a completely different time zone and half the planet away. Deadly if used improperly, perhaps, but still we should be thankful for that.

We should also be thankful that men from the old continent traveled across the Atlantic and discovered for themselves a new world. Just as we should be thankful that Chinese traders spread their fire all across Asia and similarly every other exploration be it commissioned by a government or simply to find new land or trade or challenge the norm or simply our of simple curiosity. They were all done under the harshest of conditions, of the deadliest threat, from around this world and beneath it and even beyond, they traveled. Both men and women made the journey and they gave birth to this New Century, in all its facets.

As a race, our two greatest strengths lie in the diversity of our cultures and the native impetus of our inquisitive nature. In the next century, the human race will find itself solving problems of the times. Some people would say, focus in the here and now, let us rid ourselves of bigotry and terrorism and of poverty and of cancer and aids. Perhaps we will get there, perhaps not, who can tell?

But you know what we should embark on? We should begin a journey towards the stars. Not just to scan it with powerful satellites or to conduct experiments in zero gravity.

A mad dream, a crazy ambition, wild, insanely and ill advised because, what does it profit us as a race? Is it to spread the rapid fire of humanity, to move our conflicts off world and bring it to another? Or is it a way to survive ourselves, that a facet of humanity live beyond the confines of this homeworld should we or some extra-world cause would wipe us out?

No, not for those reasons but simply because it is in our nature to challenge the norm, the common wisdom--- the world is not flat, that atoms could be smashed to produce power, that we could send men to the moon. The spirit of discovery is at the very core of humanity. It is who we are, it is our identity, it is the journey to discover, to explore, to learn, to see, to break barriers and find out what's beyond the next horizon. That is precisely what makes us a beautiful race, a beautiful people. We should see that and all this wouldn't be only crap.

At 25, there are many things I take for granted. Like every other “kid” of my generation... we have the sheer ability to do all nighters, drink, work, party like there was no tomorrow. Nothing can stop the youthful juggernaut.

There comes a point in life when you have to stop and reassess the things that matter and realize there is an end to all this and the days are starting to count down. The end is coming and there will be no stopping it when the time comes.

The thought that comes to mind is that... it never really matters how long one lives but how one lives it. Its the only way to ensure that your life doesn't end up to be only crap.

Its never easy to be frustrated. Frustrated about knowing something will work and not having the numbers or the facts to prove it. How do you keep on trying knowing in your guts that something will work and wishing that sheer will can make it happen? How do you keep on working towards that goal, knowing it may all be for naught that it might be a dead end but also knowing that should you succeed, you can improve people's lives economically and that its multiplier effect would be a better life for their families? More importantly, how can you stay the course and not be caught up in delusions of grandeur?

I guess, the answer is, nobody knows. You just keep on forging ahead in spite of knowing that it may all be only crap.