what else?

with hope gone, what else is there?
with love empty, hate a plague
    is there anything else?
what else is there?
    no stabing fire here,
    not even cold fury,
just a flag burnt, broken.
    such waste!

"peace?"

in quiet daze,
in solemn pace,
      “peace?”
      scratched well worn---
      utterly useless!
      here there be none!
longing moment's respite we be,
agonizing world-- long we be free!
surrender! surrender!
      tired, weary soul longs glee!
“peace?” bitter, unpleasant taste
      lingers in this mouth laced,
longing moment's respite
      we want flight!!!
“peace?” darkness ignite!
running won't give delight,
      goodbye respite,
      we must stand 'n fight!

amidst gentle breeze

it has been a quiet dawn,
          breathing smoke-haze,
          cold breeze sweep in,
          chill breaks out
          our bones shiver feel,
there are no lights
          to quell this night,
we are nowhere everywhere---
          sunrise here will not dare,
it is a quiet place
          no sense of hectic pace,
          no chaotic craze!
we peer through icy-haze
          a look daze
no tears lay, our sisters in happy place
          lovers arm they be safe!
our brothers content, no anger pent,
this thing we do,
          done without crew,
the world marches on,
          for them more dawn,
          as should be,
here ashes like flakes in snow
          amidst gentle breeze flow!

Too Much

Is it such a crime to care
    that we be punished for it?
Is it such perverse madness
    that heart bleeds constantly?
    No tears here flow
    Only heart-spirit exhausted
    Famished in empty void
Is kindness such horrid thing?
    Taking and taking!
    humanity gobbling in gluttony!
    Hidden in darkest corners---
    Abandoned, forgotten, lost
    Amidst cynicism of worldly affairs
Is this not our responsibility?
Our useless righteous fury!
Is youth such an offense
    that when we be older---
    only choice lie be bully or be bullied?
    Here we see only through jaded eyes
Such we be that those closest can do the worst evil
When Family be the instrument of destruction
    Flying above like vultures
    Awaiting carcass rotting in this desert,
Is this our Gom Jabbar?
Such we be that Love
    Is not warm touch but fiery hell
Such we be that Love
    Is not compassion but cold fury
Love is Blade driven right at the heart!
Love is mindlessness, utter ruin
    Every kindness given, only abused
    Every care offered freely, used
    Every Peace, a gift all thrown asunder
    Such is this bloody world!
That Old Wooden Cross? Better be burned!
    Over time His message of Love,
    'Tis nothing more than absolute perversion!
    No peace, we find only this empty void
    Where hope's burning light should be,
The good we do, it be useless trash!
Sickening, nauseating: Evil be our very nature!
Is Frost's question our only choice?
For world's end is Fire our favour?
    Dogs of War in their havoc devour!
    True effectiveness certainly!
Ice perhaps for destruction?
    Is it not also great?
    Don't those Klingon warriors say---
    “Tis a dish best served cold”?!
Let loose winter-fury! Fire and Ice Together!!!
    Icy revenge burns much better!
Where does this leave us now?
    Old, burnt, abused Cross we still carry
    A heritage we can not discard
    Though we may its name forget---
    That was never it, His teachings pave way
Nobody said it was easy!
There are days like this---
    We be blind, deaf, mute!
    Wishing we be Fremen
    That we may wrap that black-green banner
    And into the desert wonder---
    To find peace at our own term,
Our mind may be exhausted,
Our heart may be drained,
Our soul may be weary,
Our spirit may be famished,
Yet crime we still commit---
    to care, we be punished for it!
    to be kind that we be abused!
Noise unfiltered, voices clawing
    demanding a piece of the carcass
Like winter-fury one hand on cold steel
    this black heart strikes back!
    Is Apathy not cold-fury too?
There is no such thing as mercy!
    We are way past it,
There is no such thing as forgiveness!
    Our kindness be abused,
Pray our time comes soon!
This path takes to hell's gates!
    When it be opened we be living
    Amidst brimstone-fire forever tormented
With cold winter-fury our heart be!
With black emptiness our soul be!
With drape dark shadows our spirit be!

in terror

It is rather unfortunate that Manila decided to yield to terrorist demands. It is a disgrace to all Filipinos everywhere. It is a disgrace to all the things, freedom loving people cherish.

Manila's mistake would cost them dearly in the future. Terrorists are aptly named because they want to instill in us fear. Would you think this would be the end of that? The world is such a small place that when word gets out.. And it has... Then Filipinos everywhere are targets because these people will come to know that Manila can easily be threatened and will give way to that threat.

It is a mistake to give in to demands of terrorists. Give in once, and you'd be giving in forever.

The reasons for the Iraqi invasion may not be right, but it is the world's duty to make it right, giving in to terror won't make Iraq a better place or the entire world for that matter. It has only made it all the more dangerous.

Fearing Weakness

Terrorists are nothing more than bullies writ large. They take your lunch money, and get away with it, unless you stand firm. In the latest chapter of the Iraqi occupation, we may sympathize with the plight of Iraqis that they do not live in a free land, at least not yet but we know its getting there. The world had in its action and inaction unilaterally taken upon itself to “free” the Iraqis from their “bondage”, yes we are all culpable in this.

Why it may be true that the Iraqi people's lives will become a better one in the future, the fact remains that in the interim, these choices may have been made for the wrong reasons, but the wisdom of its outcome can be no less beneficial to the Iraqi people, if used properly and when given the opportunity. The world too, may also find a collective strength after all this is over.

Yet the world, when threatened by terrorists must not sit idly by and let its convictions weaver. Manila and all the nations whose citizens have been captured, threatened or killed by these terrorists should not give in. We may all live in a gray area when it comes to Iraq--- the reasons for being there caused by such circumstance that we can not make undone. We can only make it better and giving in to these terrorists will not make the Iraqi people's lives much better, neither will the rest of us sleep more soundly. We will only give the terrorists more fear to sow, more confidence to do as they please and we be cowards.

The world must stay in its course--- give the Iraqi people the freedom to have all the opportunity in the world to make their lives a better place. We owe it to them because of our action and inaction, our fears, our political affiliations and concerns. We too owe it to ourselves to stand up against terror and the weakness in our humanity.

what we can not say

Here I be languishing in despair
Unabated Madness rages,
    in absentia I have tried
    rid you from memory! all in utter failure!

What need we do?
Why linger here?

Scarce a word uttered,
Love's language I dare not speak!
These words with many others
    Open secret lives
    Free for preying eyes to see!
    Free to be ridiculed!

To asylum should I now be commit?

Love's language to you, I dare not speak!
I fear horrors you may see
    that this dark heart wrapped,
    draped in shadow-night
    in crucible it must commit,
I fear this world fallen apart---
    Broken pieces, shattered dreams
    I fix and its shard, sharp edge
    I might hurt you with---
This crucible I take, can you understand?
    Gom Jabbar made to make or break---
    Something for me to survive,
Even now those forces tag and pull,
    demanding attention and in frustration
    In agony, bitterly I must answer them!
A Soul drenched in anger, rage, fury---
This is the world I do not want you to see!

Scarce a word uttered,
Love's language I dare not speak!
Here I be trapped by my folly!
My ship may sink--- I don't want you here!
My ship's sails raised--- I want you here!

qui se languit d'amour!

No cure in sight!
Life's not so simple
Such word so hard to commit
    I know why,
Wisdom's murmurings know truth:
    In Love, there must be responsibility,

My vice: these childhood dreams I shatter!

These words for you may mean nothing,
    Void empty gesture
Should we utter truth here---
Direction you may wish take
My powers of prediction
    Know not what make,

Your "No!" shall be kindness on itself---
"No" cure only your lips can give!
My world shattered that be truth,
    Still I be free from this sickness,
    Free to take this heart's broken pieces,
    Another woman may someday mend,

To court you, a "Yes" make this Madness driven
    Novice in the ways of the heart
    I clearly show,
    This is something new, I don't know

It is far easier to wage war,
Everything else so easy so simple,
    A woman so difficult to construe,

Beyond your beauty in your heart I found
    Something, a beauty in its entirety
Others may find it difficult to understand
I scarce know it, but its there.
In friendship with you, I came to know it---
    there! plainly written!

Woman, you are an admirable beauty---
I realized this deep feeling has transformed,
    urged me to free myself
    from bondage of childhood irresponsibility!
That in itself, deserves my thanks
Regardless what transpires, I move towards
    a more tangible, more noble aspiration
    and grounded reality.
That too, deserves gratitude.

I wanted to convey this Truth without words,
    Let friendship take its course,
    That route I wished to take
This moment's hellish world would not permit,
This recourse is left open,
    convey truth I can not disavow---
    No regret!

Here as these words penned you may not approve,
Here these words not writ to ask you anything,
I can not do more than this now,
    Nor can I speak more---
You need not say nor do a thing,
    but do what you must,
    I am a fool---
These words penned meant only to convey
    what I can not ask you,
    what I can not do,
    what I can not say.

Fury and Rage

Merde!

Let there be a Coroilis Storm
    that devours this world!
Let there be a downpour of rain!
    boiling water rush!
Flood in rage!

Merde!

Let there be Hate that purge----
    There be no innocents!
Fury discriminates none
Let there be Fire and Brimstone
    Burn it all to the ground!
    Winter-Ice year long round,

Merde!

Ram those ships!
Turn those cannons ablaze!
    Decks to ash!
Rip those Sails apart!

Merde!

Oh old wooden cross,
Grant strength in these hands,
    Let the Earth tremble
    Let Gaia rumble!
Nothing standing--- death and destruction
No water for the dead!

Merde!

Holocaust nothing standing

This exhausted rage,
This spent fury,
These tired hands,
Coriolis Storm dying,

Lord God, grant strength.
Lord God, grant wisdom.
Lord God, grant peace.

Restless, mindless---

Heart's rage filled
    wants nothing standing

Merde!

No peace!

People have been saying that a change in the political system of government here in the Philippines is paramount for it to succeed. I agree.

There are those on the one hand that say, a change to say a parliamentary form would mean greater corruption. In a sense, I agree on that point... But the system that I envision, which I personally believe should be the best form... Is a hybrid of a parliamentary-federal government.

Why Federal? We need to address that each region in these islands are different. Different dialects though we all speak Filipino. Different cultures, though we eat the same kind of rice. There are complex problems in our society that can be solved by providing local government with great flexibility in solving them. After all, in that level the problem will be smaller, more manageable.

Why do we need to go parliamentary? Simple, to cut back, to make legislature and executive power, simple more streamlined. We can avert massive street protests by a mere vote of none-confidence on the elected government. We can make lawmaking, simpler.

we need to make life simpler for us to control, govern, understand. We are after all, simple folk who want prosperity and peace.

Had an excellent time yesterday. Busy... Not like ordinary busy. It was a long day that started at six o'clock in the morning and ended at one thirty in the morning, today. hahahahaha.

went to see my doctor regarding some tests that they made a few weeks ago... And the diagnosis was excellent.

then, dropped by the office to do some emergency restart of the server.

the real fun happened when I went to the annual Canada day celebration by the Canadian embassy here. It was different. At first, I didn't want to go. Because as usual, I'd be the only one of my age there and everybody else would have a good 10 years ahead of me. Like the years before, yeah its still true. Everybody older where there. But surprisingly I had a good time.

I had forgotten what someone taught me a few years ago that it doesn't matter whether or not a person is smart/intelligent... He too has something to say and that he too can teach you a lesion. I had forgotten that I had a lot to learn from these captains of industry. And I did. I had also forgotten that this opportunity is a gift. How many people my age, get to listen to these people's experiences? True, often we find ourselves out of place we being only a quarter a century old and those guys have certainly a huge head start on us. But then again, we can bring this to people our age someday.

I found myself utterly out of place... Walking in greenbelt (mall to those of you who don't know) in my barong (Filipino formal attire) with every other person in jeans and casual attire.

Anyway, what else did I learn? Some interesting new ideas. Its nice what these people can suggest during small talk. Going to after those things.

I left the party as they were just getting warmed up... With some entertainment/dancing/singing... Which weren't there from the previous years. I had to. I was suppose to meet my cousins... To watch spider-man 2. I wouldn't miss that even for this. So at eight o'clock in the evening, we were on our way back to greenhills to watch. :D at first the blamed me... They were famished. I, coming from the reception... Had already eaten (and drank 5 glasses of wine and I thank my good sense not to have drank beer which I was tempted to).

So they got some Japanese fast food while I bought tickets to Spidy 2!

I got to say, the movie rocked! And no... As much as I love to tell you folks some spoilers (spoilers for you general people, but I'd like to call them "robins" for you insiders)... I won't. Watch it!!! It rocks!!! :p its a hybrid romantic-comedy, action-adventure-geek-feast! It was funny, it was entertaining, it was mushy but it had the right amount of testosterone. Kudos to rami and his people!

It was nice to join the human race every so often. I had forgotten what its like to be a person and not just a brain. I had realize that, sure we give it all when the need arises, when work so demands and often we forget that we are but human.

I will not be stupid enough to admit, there is still darkness in our heart. There is still anger and frustration, but it was nice that for few moments, we can just forget it all. We have been able to put into proper perspective, the things we have learned from captains of industries. We can put in their proper place, some of our own ideas and though sometimes we feel a bit repressed, our hope and our will still survive.

Like "in crucible" we must go through this storm. Like a blade, we can be forged right.

In the past 3 months, we have been more cynical, more jaded but we too have a sense of optimism and idealism. There is still anger in our heart... And our resentment about that old wooden cross remain as much as our resentment on those who have crossed our path. These are obstacles that we need to address. Which we will, slowly.

what of matters of the heart? Surely she too must be addressed? Not until we put this house in order. We will someday, but not today... No matter how much we want to tell her what we feel and to court her. It wouldn't be the responsible thing to do. It just wouldn't be right, you know?

four hours after coming home, I'm back in my office in greenhills... Sleepy, writing this but ready to work, hopefully this time around we can face this challenge a stronger better person. This moment's respite has given us breathing space, if only for awhile. The fundamental problems still need to be addressed and this undying itch we need to scratch... To turn into reality all our dreams... And we will. :D